Becca (beclovesmark) wrote,

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Sometimes when you say I love you it just doesn't mean ehough....I still love him. Sighs

Hey Everyone.

How are you all going? Me well I feel like absolute CRAP! Sighs.... This past week has been the worst and I'm feeling as though i've made a bad choice and feeling like i'm going to regret it. I'm regretting it now, because I just love him so much, but i had a reason to or I wouldn't of done it otherwise. why does all bad things happen to me, when I feel like everything is going so well and perfect. Like I was in year 12, had a guy that loves me for who I am, great friends...etc.

Then.........My whole world turns upside down.

*Screams* I know he hurt me but.....I just want to be with him, not only that I keep reading the letters he gave me, keep looking at our photos, hugging my pillow that he made. I'm going insane. He's been in my dreams so much latley too.

I feel so lost, I know my friends are there for me, but it's just not the same. But thankyou all of my friends who are putting up with me, winging and whineing and talking about it. *Hugs*

I just wanted to be loved and now I think I might of lost it all, but i know it wasn't my falt. The only thing i did was ended it and that was for a reason. I know he still has feelings for me, God.... you don't get over this kind of thing over-night and move on. I know I shouldn't think about it, it doesn't help. But I can't help it I loved and cared about him so much and know the year wasn't wasted and he even said that himself. I just want him back....

See...Now look what happens when i talk about my feelings. I'm going crazey. I had another dream last night and mark was in it again, why does my mind have to do these things to me? Why. Well I might as well tell you all what happened in my dream....

My Dream;

Well I can only remember only bits and peices. Like at one point i was in adelaide and i was talking to my cousin Danni and my dad for some reason but i don't know why? then the next part i was at school and i went onto the bus to talk to Mark I guess because the next minute we were talking and then we went into a tight hug, you know those kind of ones where you never want to let go.. and then I woke up, I don't know if my dreams and horoscopes are trying to tel me something or what? Because whenever i read our horoscopes it's as if thier telling us we need to sort it out. Sighs. I just love him so much still. I never wanted to break up with him and never wanted my love life to turn out like this we were so in love, I don't know how this could of happened to us, everyone tells us we are the best couple.


Well I've expressed enough.
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